Its a sad kind of quiet around the house tonight. The kind where you don't have to (or don't want to) talk about what lies ahead because its coming regardless of whether or not you acknowledge it. In all that we've been through, a G-tube placement should be a minor blip in the radar, but its still the first big surgery we've ever experienced and with our history of regression after anesthesia, its tough to hold our breaths not knowing if the 'same kid' will come back out from the OR. The anesthesiologist told me HE was worried about her and that this was very high risk for a routine G-tube surgery. They have no idea what she will do once the anesthesia hits... especially with her dysautonomia problems and respiratory issues, she may need to be intubated.
However, we are choosing to believe God's will, whatever it may be, is being done in our lives and tomorrow will be simply a reflection of that. I can worry, of course... God made me a mother and knows its just part of the experience. But worrying won't change the outcome and I am praying hard, not just for a great day tomorrow for Audrina, but especially a prayer that we quickly accept and move forward past whatever may lie ahead - both good and bad.
If you could send up a prayer for our sweet baby it would be so appreciated.
Audrina Skye... Your smile literally lights up an entire room. I can't tell you how often someone comments on how beautiful you are when you make your little eyes dance and the musical hint of a giggle that is starting to happen. I can't wait to hear you LAUGH for real one day. Right now you are asleep in Daddy's arms and although he hasn't said it, I can tell he just wants to spend every minute as close to you as he can. He has a hard time trusting the doctors and I know he's worrying about you. But you have an ULTIMATE PHYSICIAN in heaven though who knows everything about your illness! Plus your surgeon did your sister's biopsies, so Mommy already knows he is very good at what he does. We hate seeing you suffer, so we are very hopeful your pain will be minimal and recovery will be perfect and simple. We love you so very much and are looking forward to seeing your gorgeous face without the tube in it! I think you will be a lot happier not having that irritating you all the time. If its not too much trouble, princess, fight your hardest to fly through this with flying colors! We are always with you and will be by your side through every day of your life. God loves you and you have so many angels watching closely over you.
Love always, Mommy