Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Rough Day

Addison slept all night long, which was a nice change of pace from the last couple of weeks. I checked on her about a million times betwen 5:30 when I woke up and 8:30 when she finally got up.

The first thing I noticed was that there was crusty spitup ALL over her bed. Oh no! She must have thrown up in her sleep and not even woken up. The crazy part is, she's not FULL of poop like she normally is, so I was surprised to see this. She has been sort-of pooping a little bit out on her own occasionally. You would think that would be a good thing and yet overall, she is in more pain, and having more problems than she was when she wasn't going at all.

So this really confuses me...it almost makes it seem as if there is somewhere inside her where food and solid stool is getting 'stuck' even if she's not backed up. She's been crying and throwing up all day now. Its 1:30 and I've only been able to get 8 ounces of formula in her. I'm at a loss for how to take care of her on days like today. Perhaps part of her colon is too narrow to pass through easily? Or maybe a weird loop or angle, but they've never seen anything on her xrays that indicated that.

I just wish I knew what to do! My head is spinning today, I haven't a clue what to do with her right now. I think she might need a total cleanout with an NG tube like we did in the hospital. Then we can start over with a higher dose of Miralax and her solids again.

Whenever people ask how we are doing, I try REALLY hard not to think about days like today when I reply. Because truthfully, today sucks. I love this little girl more than anything in the world, and I wish every minute she's in pain I had the answers we need. But there are sooo many good days, great days even. There are more bad than good but even on the worst days she has this smile that lights up the whole room and instantly eases my heart.

The girls took my quietness as a sign that they should be on their absolute worst behavior. Lily punched me, in an insurance office, as I picked her up because she almost tipped over a fishtank and threw a HUGE crying fit in the middle of the reception area. Brooklyn is like an angsty teenager, slamming the door to her room and telling me she doens't have to clean it if she doesn't want to...

Normally BK & Lily are really well-behaved little girls, but every now and then (as any mom with multiple toddlers knows) they figure out that youre already on the verge of a meltdown and decide to strike while you're already down!

I'm not a big drinker, but I think tonight a big glass of wine is in order.

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