Sunday, July 15, 2012

Missing Nana.

I've been absent from the blog more lately because my sweet Nana has been in hospice and with a heavy heart I am sharing the news that she got her wings this evening.

She absolutely adored my babies, and one of the last days before she went into a coma she had been doing very poorly, but I brought Audrina in and laid her gently in her arms and she started talking and waking up to see her. She kissed Audrina's face over and over and I said, "There's nothing better than the smell of a baby, is there Nana?" She smiled, closed her eyes and said, "No - there's just nothing else like it." Her and Grandpa had an amazing relationship, at 90 years old, he still treated her like a queen. I am heartbroken for him tonight... but I know he was ready to let her rest and be free in heaven. Trusting God to heal our hearts in the days ahead.

I went to say my final goodbye a couple days ago. She was in a coma, and I was there alone, so I wasn't sure what to do - I wanted her to know I was there. So I climbed up into her bed, held her hand and curled up and snuggled with her. Things have been so hard with the girls, and the thought of losing someone I love was enough to do me in. I sobbed myself to sleep in her lap, the unfairness of life weighing on me. But when I woke up, I woke up with more peace than I have ever known. I hadn't needed advice, or a calm friend, or a voice of reason. All I needed was a lap to cry in. A warm hand that was so very close to heaven. Nana did for me in a coma what she has done for everyone in our family, all our lives - filled us with love and understanding and made everything right with the world. So as we lay her to rest, I ask you to say a prayer thanking God that she is rocking babies in heaven now.


  1. I am so sorry for your loss - and rejoice with you over the legacy of faith and love your Nana gave to your family. Praying for you and your girls and your family!

  2. Oh my goodness. What a beautiful and touching post. Blessings to your whole family now, especially grandpa. The picture is so sweet and heartbreaking all at the same time. My heart is with you and your family.

  3. I have followed your blog for a long time now and have posted comments before about my little boy who is just a few weeks older than Addison and has a neuromuscular condition and a g-tube. I don't know if you remember me at all. My little guy's name is Landon and he remains undiagnosed at 20 months old as well. I just have always felt a connection with you as we each go through this journey with our little ones. My dear Grandma passed away at 100 years old last Sunday, probably within a couple hours of your Nana's passing. We had just taken all of our kids on a cross country trip to visit her and had spent precious time with her on Saturday. You are in my thoughts and prayers right now. I would love to talk with you some time since we are going through such similar journeys.