I have a confession... There is a portion of the night, almost every night that I cry. Its usually around the second straight hour of Audrina sobbing, Adam pacing the floor cursing the doctors, and me trying everything under the sun to figure out why shes upset. Every night we do this ritual.
Audrina sleeps peacefully til about 3 am, at which point she begins shrieking and flailing her arms and legs... Then she will arch her back, shake her head back and forth and cry and cry and cry.
Weve swaddled, unswaddled, shes too hot, too cool, not enough blanket weight, rocked her, bounced her, lights on, lights off, maybe its her tube, maybe its gas, gas drops, tylenol, gripe water, and dont get me started on the pacifier.
She thrusts her tongue all over the place makig it impossible to keep the paci in. Except she desperately wants it.... So thats a whole nother game. We might get her to take it and shes almost asleep, pushes it out and screams for another hour.
Nothing we do makes any difference to her, holding her, positioning her, burping... Nothing. This happens at least once a day during the day too - and the only thing we can do to stop it is to let her watch tv. She loves tv. Flame away, im a horrible mom.... Ive got a 6 month old who is obsessed with watching yo gabba gabba. I definitely didnt set out to have a baby watching tv all the time. Were only making it worse by using it as a tool to calm her down but is literally the only thing that works and sometimes we all just need a break.
Tonight it got so bad we set yo gabba gabba up on the laptop next to her bed at 430 because she couldnt stop screaming. She cried from 330- 6 today and thats happening 4-5 nights a week. Were exhausted, shes unhappy, somethings gotta give.
So she cries. And so do I. Im mommy and supposed to make it better and I cant. This has been going on for months. Were zombies, barely able to function most days.
Ive discussed it with her doctors who tell me some baby are just fussy and to just keep waiting on her to outgrow i. I dont think thats whats happening here, shes not even calmed by being held. Eventually she just wears herself out :( Shes probably spending 3-5 hours a day screaming and crying at 6 months old.... But no one will do anything about it so I guess we will just keeping holding on. I just want to enjoy her and get those precious few hours of rest waiting for me at the end of every long day. Most of all, I dont want her to be suffering and unhappy.